I would like it to be written that I love art. Impressionism…realism…cubism…I like them all, but I hate the Renaissance with my whole heart…my whole heart. A person can only look at so many cherubs before actually attempting to gouge his or her eyes out with spoons. And with the brief rant…it should come as no surprise to any of my readers that this gnome was forced into an art museum filled completely with art from the Renaissance period.
During our eight hours in Dresden, Germany our group was given tickets to attend the city’s famed art museum, “The Gemäldegalerie Alte Meister.” The museum is filled with three stories of Renaissance art. Three stories! Every story a little more painful than the last.
There was the dead white guys with collars room (actually there were a few dead white guy rooms), the dead white girl room, and paintings commissioned by the dead white guys and girls depicting either Jesus’ crucifixion, birth, or random cherubs—because that is what every person need hanging over his or her dinner table.
As I walked past the dead nobles and Jesus I found myself wishing I were the dead white girl on the wall instead of the person who had to stare at her. Unfortunately, I could not figure out how to make that happened, so I walked and stared and walked and stared and walk…until I could take no longer.
Our group was given nearly three hours to walk. I made it about two and a quarter before deciding that I was either jumping through the nearest window or leaving peacefully through the front door…either way I was getting out of that museum. A week later, it is my sincere dream that I never have to see another cherub again.
No comments:
Post a Comment